What Are 5 Keys to Success?
Everyone wants success in some form or another. Some chase it and others expect it to come to them. The reality is most people go through life wishing, waiting, willing, or wanting something to change without making changes. This is not a success strategy. The key to success starts with you, your vision for the future, your values, goals.
Unless you understand what the meaning of success is for you, how will you ever know when you have achieved it? What’s most important is to understand what success means to you.
What Does Success Mean to You?
Success means something different to everyone. One person might see success as having fame, power, and money whereas another person might see success as education, a long-term relationship, family, or achieving one’s personal or business goals. Success might be learning to walk again after an accident or a stroke or getting a new job.
What you don’t want to do is to climb the ladder of success only to find you climbed the wrong ladder. Some set a goal and become so obsessed with that goal, everything else around them falls apart and realize it was the wrong goal to pursue.
Some people chase success so hard that once they achieve what it is they thought they wanted, it didn’t feel like a success at all. The way to avoid climbing the wrong mountain or chasing a goal that doesn’t make you happy, is to define what success means to you.
Define What Success Isn’t
Most people follow social media in some form, some more than others. We are bombarded with messages of what success looks like. The images we see on social media give us the false expectation that success is having the perfect relationship, building wealth, or amassing a large following on social media. This sends the wrong message because it sets up false expectations.
Throughout your life, you have learned what success means or doesn’t mean from your parents, teachers, sports coaches, and friends. The problem is when you buy into another person’s idea of success, you are also buying into their personal agenda which won’t necessarily make you successful. It’s more likely to make you feel miserable and suffer from burnout by pursuing the wrong definition of success.
When you fail to define what success means to you and pursue another person’s definition of success, you will end up unhappy, frustrated with a deep-seated feeling you are unsuccessful.
What is the Secret of a Successful Life?
The secret to living a successful life is to take responsibility for your life and not live in the drama triangle.
The drama triangle is a well-known model that is widely used in life coaching developed by American psychologist Dr. Stephen Karpman in 1968. The Drama Triangle demonstrates three common roles Karpman identified as the Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim.
The drama triangle model illustrates a power game that becomes a barrier to success.
Persecutors take no responsibility for their life for they will blame others for failures and criticize others to make themselves look and feel better. They are often in denial and argue their behavior is necessary for self-protection.
With a rigid approach to life to act as an aggressor, they rely on someone to persecute.
Rescuers act as a protector and see themselves as a helper and the answer to other people’s problems. They rely on someone to rescue (victim).
The Rescuer will help others whether they ask for help or not. Their barrier to success is they feel guilty if they don’t help others and by doing so, don’t allow victims to take responsibility for their life which keeps the person being rescued in a victim role.
The victim is subjected to the attacks of the persecutor and waits for a rescuer to save them. They too take no responsibility for their life or the decisions they make.
Many people consciously or unconsciously play one of these three roles depending on the context. For instance, some people like playing the role of victim as it gets them attention and allows them to blame others or circumstances for not being a success.
If you approach life as a victim, you will never succeed. Victims rely on someone to rescue them which is why wishing, willing, waiting, and wanting isn’t a success strategy.
The main secret of success in life is to take responsibility for your choices and your actions and not live in the drama triangle.
The Pathway to Success
Everyone has experienced success in some form however most people tend to focus on their weaknesses or what they have done wrong in their life. It is not helpful to only recall your failures and mistakes. You are always going to hit roadblocks in your life, career, or business, it’s how you deal with it that defines you as a success or failure.
Failing at something or making a mistake is a single event, it doesn’t need to be a life sentence. For instance, if you failed an exam, you can always take the exam again. If you failed to finish high school, you can always go to night school and graduate. If you failed to nail an interview, you can always practice your interviewing skills and prepare yourself to blitz the next one.
The pathway to success is to focus on your unique talents, abilities, and gifts instead, and build from there.
Consider the following:
- What are your talents and unique gifts? (we all have them)
- What makes you special that you do better than anyone else?
- What are you especially proud of in your life?
- What do you love doing?
- What do you find uniquely satisfying?
- What do others admire you for?
- Think of a time when you felt most energized?
- Think of a challenge you had to overcome and what did this tell you bout yourself.
Once you have answered these questions, it gives you a clue of where you could see yourself in the future, doing something you love, something you are passionate about, something that gets you excited, and a vision for your future.
The 5 Keys to Success in Life
1. Create a Vision for the Future
Once you have discovered your passion by answering those key questions, take a moment to imagine what your life could be like in 5-10 years time if you had the self-confidence to pursue your dreams. Think about what you could achieve if you had no limitations, and no barriers to success. What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? What kind of impact do you want to make on the people you care about and the world around you?
It doesn’t matter if at this stage you don’t believe you can make a dent in your world as you know it today, act as if though you can. Describe your vision for the future as if nothing is impossible.
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it.
Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare.
Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary.
Impossible is nothing!
~ Adidas ~
2. Define your Values
Your values and personal uniqueness are a source of great energy. They create drive, innovation, and creativity. With your Vision, you begin to harness that and direct it positively towards your personal success.
Values are long-lasting beliefs, ideals, and qualities you see in others and yourself that are important to you. They have a major influence on your behavior and decision-making process. They are a guiding compass in the way you live, work, and interact with others. Many in their quest to become a success underestimate the importance of values.
When your values are not aligned with the way you live and work, you struggle. You may be asked to do something that doesn’t sit with your values like tell a lie, cheat a customer, rat on a colleague, or say yes to something you know is wrong. It’s your values subconsciously talking to you.
You already have inbuilt values; you may not recognize or understand what they are. By defining your values, you can then make decisions that match your values. When you follow your core values, you know you will make good decisions.
3. Craft Your Goals
To succeed in life, you don’t need the right conditions; you need the right fuel to keep you going. Your vision is a statement of what your ideal for the future looks like. Your values are your guiding compass, and your goals are the fuel that turns your vision into reality.
Your goals determine where you need to put your energy and time into making your vision become a reality. Goals focus your attention on acquiring knowledge and skills and help organize your time and resources. When your goals are aligned with your vision of the future, you know why you should get out of bed each day. You know what you should be doing to live your dream future.
Clearly articulated goals also help you avoid the distractions that can easily lead you astray and derail you along the way.
4. Embark on a Journey of Personal Development
Personal development plays a huge role in your pursuit of success. Just because you left school, it doesn’t mean your learning needs to stop, in fact, your learning is only just beginning. Here’s an example.
In 1992 Encyclopedia Britannica published 32 books with the following mission statement on the inside cover.
“to be a reliable, up-to-date, and scholarly source of knowledge and learning for the general public.”
With the advent of the internet, you would have thought they would have jumped at the opportunity to provide reliable, up-to-date, knowledge to the world. Instead, they dug their heels in and tried to keep selling their books to an ever-receding marketplace. Enter – Wikipedia. They offered a fresh look at distributing the world’s knowledge that was faster, cheaper, and better than Britannica could have ever dreamed of. Encyclopedia Britannica became redundant.
Kodak, once the world’s most trusted brand in photography filed for bankruptcy in 2012 because they were unwilling to accept digital as a replacement for film. Blockbuster – once a $6 billion company went bankrupt in 2010 when along came the streaming service Netflix.
No, you are not a multi-national company failing to adapt to change, however, the message is the same. If you don’t invest in your own personal development you will be left behind. The key to success is to keep educating yourself on what keeps you awake at night.
If you find yourself in a rut, suffer from burnout, or struggle with self-belief, it’s likely you either lack a clear vision for the future, are goal obsessed, lack self-confidence, or fear change. Find yourself a mentor or life coach who can see you for your potential and take you to places you wouldn’t go on your own.
5. Learn to Make Good Choices
With your vision clearly in front of you, your values to guide you, and your goals aligned to your vision, it makes it easier to make good choices and plan to succeed. When you have something or someone to guide you, you know what you need to do to succeed and become the best version of yourself you can be instead of living a someday life. Forming good habits gives you the push to make great choices that contribute to the achievement of your goals.
If you don’t define your pathway to success, someone else will. If you don’t pursue your dreams, you end up working for someone else’s dreams. Be authentic, be you!
On a Final Note
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